DON’T DO IT and My One And Only Rant.

DON’T DO IT and My One And Only Rant.

I decided recently that given the state of the world and the progressively increasing and continually unprecedented hatred for law enforcement in the United States, it was about time to update these pieces.  I originally wrote them several years ago in the wake of the Ferguson, MO. incident, which really started the modern era of politically motivated fabrications based on law enforcement use of deadly force.  I use the term fabrications because if you look at the facts, the real Federal DOJ statistics on police use of force against criminal suspects of all races, those facts do not support the hatred and violence against law enforcement we are now seeing in this country, which is being portrayed as a justified reaction against an allegedly racist system.  What we are seeing is the use of an event or events (in the tradition of never letting a crisis go to waste), to further the agenda of what at one time was designed to reign in and handicap law enforcement.  In the here and now, in today’s world, this campaign has progressed into the naked agenda of defunding and disbanding police departments and encouraging anarchy.

The second piece was originally titled Don’t Do It, Unless You Want To.  You’ll notice I’ve retitled it simply, Don’t Do It.  When updating this piece, I decided that to lend some real perspective to it, before the logical points of Don’t Do It, I would include another piece I wrote called My One and Only Rant About Police Work.. Maybe.  This one is more raw and emotional.  It lends a much better perspective on the bad parts of the job, the shit that really sucks.  I suppose I am a little hypocritical since I am talking people out of the job but I’m still in the business and now on my second career.  But as you’ll see below I wrote Don’t Do It for someone who was thinking about getting into the job, not for myself.  I’m already here.  I know little else.  I’ve been doing this job for 30 years, my entire adult life.  But, my recommendation to anyone thinking about getting in these days is not to.  I still love this job, in spite of everything.  It could be that I don’t know anything else and I’m scared to know anything else, so I just keep on.  But that’s not the real deal.  The real story is that where I work now, I have a lot more people that wave at me and tell me they appreciate me than those who hate on me.  I am grateful for that.  Where I am is a good place to be for now.  

The stories and circumstances below are all taken from my previous experience working at a large Southern California agency.  I now work in a place that is easier in many ways.  Activity level, frequency of critical incidents and so on.  That is how I planned it, I am closer to the end rather than the beginning.  Still, anything can happen anywhere and at anytime.  Given where we are now and where so many people and politicians want to take our society, I have to say Don’t Do It.  The only qualifier to this is that if the defunders and disbanders get their way, the landscape may not support what you want to do.  If safety and security do not exist, it’s a bit difficult to run a business or provide a service.  So here I am invalidating my own reasoning once again.  I don’t want to live in that world.  I know many other people I’ve worked with and currently work with that don’t want to either.  So while I say Don’t Do It, someone will.  Unfortunately I believe the balance of power is about to change decisively in this country.  Those who want to do the job because they believe in justice, safety and security are going to be replaced by people who want to do it for power and control.  Once you defund and disband the real cops, who will they be replaced by?  

As for the people that take over, what ethical standards will they be held to?  Who, if anyone, will hold them to these standards? (We never answered what standards by the way).  What sort of training will they be given?  None?  Who will provide the training?  Nobody?  Who will hold them accountable for bad behavior?  Will they arrest people or just beat them up or shoot them?  If they arrest someone, where will that person be taken?  Who will watch them?  Will they be fed and provided with medical care in whatever facility they go to, or will it be like a gulag in the Third World?  Will there be a court system?  Will anyone write a report or document what happened?  Will anyone collect any evidence?  Will there be a court case or just a warlord who decides guilt or innocence?  Who will represent these people to the public?  Will there be officer friendly or just a heavy handed compliance officer whose only talent is threats and waving a gun?

None of these questions are being asked and none are being answered.  But rest assured these problems absolutely will arise.  What may be about to happen is going to be a tragedy.  But, every great civilization that has existed on this planet has eventually come to an end.  The U.S. will be no different.  I was hoping it wouldn’t be this soon and not while my daughters were alive.  But, as they say it isn’t over until it’s over.  Things don’t have to be this way.  If anything, I hope this updated piece will be a plea.  A plea for reason.  A plea for reasonable people to see this job for what it is and understand that it needs to be done by professional people with high ethical standards and transparent oversight.  Please don’t let our country die.  Please help us help you. 

My One And Only Rant About Police Work.. Maybe. (2014)

Ok, well this will be my one and only rant about police work because I don’t like mixing work with social media. It’s a bad idea because as a cop, your social media can be subpoenaed into court to show your character. So this post might disappear in short order.

So: As for this thing in Missouri, I know the South is a different world and racism is alive and well, Black AND White. If the shooting happened the way the Black community says it did, it may be bad, and if it is the cop should be held to account. The thing that people don’t understand and the thing that Brown’s supporters will absolutely fight, is the dynamics of stress, perception, reaction time and other use of force dynamics which can reasonably explain shots to the back or shots delivered when someone appears to be surrendering. And, eyewitness accounts are notoriously unreliable, especially when predispositions and biases are a factor. An independent, thorough and transparent investigation is the only way to figure this out. And the investigators better darn well do their job right so the science can be defended and the truth can be plain to see, whatever it turns out to be. In any case, Ferguson P.D. better figure that shit out and make peace with the community somehow.

Note:  The shooting was found to be justified.  Even by the Obama DOJ.

Militarization of police? Yep. The thing people forget or don’t want to accept is that the world is a different place now. It is not the same as it once was. All of it changed on September 11th, 2001 when it became clear that the U.S. is involved in a long and protracted war with Radical Islam, and that these people will come here and kill us. Look at ISIS, research for yourself what they are doing to people. They are a crusading, depraved army that has inflicted unimaginable cruelty on everyone in their path and they’ve been very open about saying they intend to fly their flag at the White House. They will not stop unless stopped. They are worse than Al Qaeda (who are still around by the way) and far better equipped and funded. They will come here; it’s only a matter of time. The southern border is completely unsecure.  Virtually anyone or anything could be brought in over the border or by a Panga boat along the coast. Or a tunnel used for drug trafficking perhaps. Remember Mumbai, India? 3 or 4 teams of guys with light explosives and assault weapons might just come to visit your town. Think the U.S. Military will help you? Nope. Remember Posse Comitatus? The U.S. Military can’t operate on domestic soil in a law enforcement capacity without special permission. Furthermore, people seem to believe that terrorism on domestic soil is a criminal matter (Remember Fort Hood and Boston?). Therefore, it’s a law enforcement problem and that means local law enforcement and maybe the FBI. Local police and fire are the first responders and will be the ONLY responders for many hours or days until the politicians figure out whether authorizing domestic military action will benefit them in the next election. It is we who will be there, not military, at least not at first when most of the killing is going on. I don’t personally want to confront terrorists with a handgun and a couple of extra magazines. Don’t forget this also works the other way too, with the military frequently consulting with lawyers about the legality of killing the enemy overseas. The two worlds have merged somewhat. Can this be abused? You bet it can. That is why it should be under strict control, but it should nevertheless be maintained. And we haven’t even talked about active shooters yet. You know, those guys that have showed up at Columbine, Trolley Square, Aurora Colorado, etc, etc. That equipment shouldn’t come out very often, but when you need it, you really need it. I’m not willing to sacrifice my life needlessly. And being sent to confront one of these threats with substandard equipment is basically being set up to fail. Ever work a rural or mountainous area? Ever try a 100+ yard shot with a handgun? Didn’t work out so well did it? It happens. Criminals wearing body armor? Yep, they do it. Remember the salon massacre in Seal Beach? That guy had it on. Patrol rifles should be here to stay.

Stupid cops, out of shape cops, abusive cops, lazy cops? You bet. They’re out there. Just like at your job. You know that guy at your place? No matter the background check, some will get through and they should be dealt with and fired if there are grounds. There are amazing protections for government workers though and firing someone is almost as consuming as an act of Congress. But we also don’t have problems with women making less than men, everyone is on a pay scale and variations are dictated by overtime and special assignments, not race, gender or orientation.

Police work is largely sedentary you say? Right again. Google “Why sitting is bad for you”. When you’re done, Google “Long term effects of adrenaline and stress”. When you’re done with that, Google “Chronic health problems and police work”. Then, Google “Long term effects of sleep deprivation”. Yep, it’s sedentary. Except for when the call comes in, or when you see the crime in progress, or when the young mother runs up to you with her purple baby that’s not breathing. Occasionally it’s not sedentary. But it doesn’t happen that much. It’s fine, nothing to see here.

Why do cops like donuts and have mustaches? Same fucking reason everyone else does, dumbass. That shit tastes good and I want to look like a 1970’s porn star, why else?

Do I want to shoot someone? Nope. Do I want to endure months and probably years of additional chronic stress because of the post shooting investigation, social media hatred, news media bullshit and wrong stories? No. Do I want to go to depositions and be sued under Title 18, United States Code for a Civil Rights violation? Nope. But if it means I get to see my little girl again and she gets to have her daddy, then fuck it.  I’m in.

My job isn’t that dangerous compared to many others you say? Yep. You’re right. There are many other jobs that are more dangerous. Construction, Bering Sea fisherman, yada, yada, yada. However, most of the deaths in those jobs are accidental. The two leading causes of police deaths? Glad you asked. Traffic collisions and Homicide. Construction workers generally aren’t deliberately killed by other people because of their employment duties. What percentage of police officers work a full career and make it to a service retirement? I understand it’s about 30%. Many others get hurt and medical out, get fired or leave the job for other reasons. Construction workers can still work with injuries that remove a cop from the job. I’m having a hard time verifying the above statistic because all the Google hits are about how police officers are all getting rich off the taxpayers and are abusing the system. Does that happen? Yep, sometimes. And it should be dealt with.

Public safety is expensive. A lot of times about 50% of a city budget is for the police department. OMG! Why can’t we just hire some $10-15 an hour rent-a- cops instead? Think the situation is bad now? Think I’m going to jump in front of a bullet for you for $10-15 an hour? Nope. Fortunately for you, it’s about right and wrong, not money. My primary duty is to survive in order to provide for my family, not yours. I provide a service to society and I would like to be able to have a nice life, just like other people. If I’m well paid and my agency has high expectations of public service and strongly enforced ethical standards (which mine does) and I can be proud of what I do, now I’m more willing to put myself at risk for ungrateful people that I don’t know. If I’m going to make crap money, I’ll join the military. At least then people will like me and I’ll have travel opportunities.

Ever had a boss at your work that was: Ungrateful? You felt like he didn’t care about you? Was overly critical of your work? Had little or no experience in your job duties but criticized the hell out of you anyway? Nothing is ever good enough? Comes up and randomly insults you because he’s having a bad day? Kinda sucks doesn’t it? Well that’s what it’s like to work for the public. Don’t get me wrong, there are a lot of nice people out there that support the cops, but it’s a rare encounter indeed where you feel like the person actually wants you around, rather than viewing you as a necessary evil or worse.

All that being said, I was made for this job. I can’t think of anything else I’d rather do and I still love it and I’ll keep doing it to the best of my ability. Clearly I’m fucking crazy. And I’ll especially keep loving my top 5% cops because that’s who I want to be around, real pros. But I’m not going to pretend it’s all good because it’s not. Sometimes you have a chance to really do some good things for people and that’s awesome, but most of the time you’re just putting band aids on things. You can’t fix in an hour what it took years to create and to think you can is naive. Not to mention people love to hate cops. It’s a sport kind of. Movies? Cops being shot up left and right by glorified bad guys. Bad guys get the girls, the cars, the money. Movie and TV cops constantly conduct themselves in a way that would get them sued for civil rights violations or at least get them investigated and put on leave, then of course the public thinks you can do that stuff and they get mad when you explain that you can’t. See above for angry public. So that’s what it’s like sometimes, not all the time though. Sometimes it’s really fun, because driving fast and pointing guns and arresting bad people is fun. Putting an AED and some CPR on a guy who has no pulse and isn’t breathing and bringing him back is good. Seeing that you’ve really helped someone and they know it is nice, I mean that’s why I’m here right? I guess so. Hard to tell sometimes.

By the way, we’re hiring if you’re interested. LOL LOL LOL.

It occurred to me that if you decide to hire on and be a cop, you might have some questions about calls you could go to. Allow me to help. Want to know what it looks like when a guy puts a high powered handgun to his head, pulls the trigger and blows his brains, pieces of his skull, hair and eyeballs all over the fucking room? I can describe that for you. Actually, I think I just did. Want to know what it smells like and looks like when five dead people have been locked in a house for three weeks? I can help you with that one too. I’d like to un-see and un-smell it but I can’t. Ever been interested in knowing how great it feels to interview a sexual assault victim and make her recount all the details of the trauma she suffered and listen to her cry and anguish over it, knowing the whole time the D.A. won’t file the case? Good times. You might be interested in opening a freezer that’s been in an RV for a month. A freezer that contains a dead woman that’s been in there for two fucking years because her daddy shot her and stuffed her in there while she was still alive. I can describe that for you too. Want to know what it feels like to stand just outside the crime scene tape surrounding the scene where your partner was murdered yesterday, taking a bullshit non-injury traffic accident report? Yep, done that too. Feel like getting into some Level B HazMat gear, completely sealed and staying in it for 3 hours when you were supposed to be in it for no more than 45 minutes, but your fucking boss forgot about you? Thought about that one for a while with an IV in my arm. Want to know what it’s like to go into a scene where a young guy blew his head apart with a shotgun (see above for details) and try to comfort his mom who found him and is now on a completely different planet with grief and anguish? Wait for it, wait for it… then go back to the same house ten years later and supervise the cop who is now taking the young guy’s father to the mental ward because he finally went crazy after dealing with it for so long? What are the chances? Kinda weird right? I could go on but you get the point. Like I said, we’re fucking hiring.

And that is why I say..  Don’t Do It. (2017)

I met up with my parents a few days ago for dinner, and my dad said that he has a friend at church whose son wants to become a police officer.  He’s 18 and my dad asked if I might put together something in writing that would be of help to him in making his decision about whether to do it.  I had been thinking about writing a piece like this for a long time and this seemed like a good motivator to finally do it.  So thanks Dad!  Here goes.  

The Negative:

Short answer for you young man:  DON’T DO IT.  I’ll get to the rest of the title later because that’s not my final answer, but it’s my first instinct answer.  I cannot wish the bad things you will see in this line of work on anyone.  Here’s a partial list of negatives that you will experience if you become a cop.  It might be easier this way than writing it in paragraph format. 

1. You’re everyone’s favorite person to hate.  You represent THEM.  The people that take away rights and shut down good times.  The oppressors.  There are a lot of people who feel that way.
2. Everyone knows your job better than you do, because they saw it on TV or they have a friend who is a cop.  And they’re not afraid to tell you that you’re doing it wrong, usually when you’re under stress and trying to do the job that they say you’re doing wrong.
3. You’re cannon fodder to everyone except your family, your fellow cops and a few concerned citizens that actually do love you.  These citizens are diamonds in the rough.  They do exist but don’t expect to find one.  Expectation is the source of all disappointment, so just don’t.  Be glad when you find one, then get back to not expecting to find any more.
4. Unfortunately the background process doesn’t weed out all the bad apples.  You will encounter ethical dilemmas and corruption amongst other cops, and you may have to take enforcement action against another cop.  You may then be viewed as a rat or a buddy fucker if others don’t know the details of the situation.  If you know about something and do nothing, you may get drawn into it and get fired because you knew about it and did nothing.  You don’t get to do nothing anymore, at least you shouldn’t.  
5. If you do hire on, worry about doing your job professionally and correctly, not about making people like you.  They don’t.  Many will act like they do, as a form of manipulation to get you to do what they want.  It’s fake.  You have to build walls.  You have to be compassionate enough to be a human being to people that need a human being in that moment of crisis, but don’t let them cross your walls.  Sometimes they do and you can’t stop it, and those are the things you remember, the things that change you.  But you need to have walls that stay intact the majority of the time, because if you don’t then the overwhelming negativity of the job will destroy you.  Ever fly on an airplane?  Remember the safety briefing:  Put on your mask before you help others.  Because if you’re dead you can’t help others.  If you let the job kill you then you can’t help others, and more importantly you can’t provide for your family.
6. I saw a meme on Facebook that read:  “Police Officer- Someone who does precision guesswork based on unreliable data provided by those of questionable knowledge, see also Wizard, Magician.”  Never was there a more true statement.  You will constantly get called into situations that took years to deteriorate and people will expect you to fix them in an hour or two.  Occasionally you can really do some good.  Most of the time you can’t.  Remember: No expectations.  But you have to act like you aren’t subscribing to the idea of not having expectations.  Remember how you have to build walls?  Well your walls aren’t just to keep other people out, they’re also to keep you in.  You can’t share your true feelings with people because often they aren’t good.  You get callous and hard and when people see that they think you’re an asshole.  They’re already going to think that, but the idea is to convince them that they’re wrong and you’re not really an asshole, because who wants to call for help and have an asshole respond?  Nobody.  You’ll need to get good at acting.  It’s taken me a long time to get better at it, I still have work to do.
7. You see a lot of death.  A lot of violent death, a lot of traffic collision death, a lot of drug overdose death, a lot of accidental death, a lot of natural death, a lot of suicide death.  If you stay in the business long enough you will know someone who dies in the line of duty.  It might be you that dies in the line of duty.  
8. There are a lot of ways you can die in this business.  You can get shot or stabbed or run over intentionally by a vehicle.  You could get shot by a sniper and never know what happened.  You can die in a car crash.  You can get exposed to biological hazards that can kill you like Hepatitis C, HIV or other diseases that can permanently compromise your health.  And, if you don’t know you have it you could pass it on to your family.  You can get exposed to chemical agents that can kill you, like Fentanyl, chemicals in Meth labs, toxic fumes at residential and especially vehicle fires, hazardous material spills on the highway and so on. 
9. There are a lot of long term hazards that you will suffer from.  Some that are unavoidable and others that aren’t.  Unavoidable examples include shift work and irregular sleep patterns.  Working tired all the time.  Spending a lot of time in a seated position.  Going from a relatively relaxed state to a high stress state with the associated jump in adrenaline and heart rate, potentially several times a day for many years.  Constant stress from continually encountering angry, hostile, difficult, condescending, disobedient, insulting or indifferent people.  You can construct good walls, like I said, but they are never perfect or impenetrable.  Mostly avoidable examples of stuff that can kill you or hurt you are poor diet, lack of exercise, repetitive motions of getting in and out of a car wearing equipment multiple times a day (the activity isn’t avoidable, but the consequence may be through appropriate exercise programs), drinking too much, suicide, failing to deal with stress effectively, and so on.  Bad knees, bad back, cardiac problems, stress symptoms, PTSD are all possibilities of diminished long term health.   You may need a counselor at some point.  Nobody wants to admit this and it’s nobody’s business really, but when the other options are alcohol, drugs, suicide, becoming a bitter lifelong asshole or something else, the counselor (a good one that gets you) really starts to become more appealing.  If you marry a woman that isn’t in the job, then no matter how good she is, she really won’t understand.  Because experiential learning is really the only way people understand and empathize with others.  If you marry a woman who is in the job, she’ll have the same problems you do and more, because she’ll be fighting gender stereotypes along with the other stuff, because this is a male dominated profession.  
10. If you aren’t fully and completely committed to the job with your entire being, then please, don’t even bother.  There are more than enough mediocre cops out there and we don’t need any more.  Southern California is one of the best case scenarios for professionalism, work expectations, good training, salary and quality of agencies.  Even here there are plenty of folks who should probably be doing something else.  If you just need a paycheck, don’t bother.  If you just want a retirement, don’t bother.  If your feelings about morality and right and wrong are not clean and strong, don’t bother.  Do something else.  If you’re going to do the job, be a five percenter.  Be that guy that does everything well and has all his bases covered.  Accept nothing less.  Or don’t bother.
11. Agency politics suck.  Especially in a small agency.  It’s an unfortunate reality of the human condition that most of the time, the people who make the policies you have to exist under do not have to work or exist under their own policies, because they don’t do your job.  So people who either don’t know what it’s like, or used to know what it’s like but forgot because they haven’t done it in forever and the world changed while they were gone, will tell you what to do and you have to obey them because they’re your superiors.  Another diamond in the rough personality is the administrator who was a real cop and really did the job and retains continuous exposure to it either through direct experience or constant communication with people at the front line level.  Those people generally make good policy and good decisions.  If you find one of these people, get under his command and never leave.  The grass is not greener on the other side.
12. Face time and regular interaction with decision makers is what gets you assignments.  Not necessarily skills, abilities, work performance or reputation.  If you want something, you’ll have to play the game.  The game sucks, so your decision will be whether what you want is worth playing the game of rubbing elbows (aka kissing asses) for.  I don’t personally like it, some people do.  Figuring yourself and your priorities out ahead of time will greatly assist you in deciding how you’re going to roll with this one.
13. Nobody understands cops except other cops.  If you truly love the job and being a cop is who you are to your core, your friends will be other cops in many  cases.  As soon as you pin on the badge, your relationships with other people you knew before will change almost immediately.  This depends to some extent on who your friends were or are, what they’re into and what their views of right and wrong are.  The first thing your friends will say when introducing you to others is “This is Joe, he’s a cop.”  Then, for the rest of the party you can expect at least a couple of questions about why some other cop did something or some insulting crack like, “I got a ticket because I didn’t have big boobs”, or “I got pulled over and the cop was such an asshole” and so on.  It’s easier not to deal with it, at least at my age.  Plus “normal” people do things at parties and elsewhere that you shouldn’t be participating in.  Which is why you’re always introduced as “This is Joe, he’s a cop.”
14. You may be called upon to take someone’s life.  Your inaction or unwillingness to take someone’s life may result in the death of a third party or another cop, or yourself.  You cannot be ambiguous about this and you have to make this decision before hand.  If you aren’t willing or you don’t know, don’t even bother.  We live in an unprecedented threat environment.  If you’re going to do it,  then be extremely proficient with your weapons and equipment.  If you’re not a gun person, become one.  That is at least enough to go to the range a minimum of once a month, preferably more.  Qualification courses are generally not good for anything other than general accuracy.  Shoot multiple shot drills, multiple targets, malfunction drills, magazine changes, weak hand drills, rifle drills, application of tourniquets to yourself and others, shooting from awkward positions and so on. 
15. If you have to take someone’s life, you will almost certainly be sued by the suspects family.  You can expect years of additional stress and legal issues.  If the person you killed is a person of color and you are white, you will be branded a racist.  The news media will selectively edit video, deliberately sensationalize or deliberately create controversy because they aren’t in the news business anymore.  They’re in the entertainment, social engineering and agenda pushing business.  You will not get a fair shake except by other people that understand the job, namely other cops.  Remember, no expectations.  Don’t expect a fair shake, because you won’t get one.  As an addition to this point, the news media is now wholly and completely political.  They are serving an agenda and manipulating facts to further their agenda.  They don’t give a fuck about you or your life or your family.  They will use you and move on to their next victim.
16. The job will change you.  You will have a front row seat for the whole sum of human depravity, dysfunction, idiocy, victimhood and sociopathic tendencies.  You will not be the same person you were after even a few years in the job.  If you survive a whole career, you won’t really even remember who that guy was.
17. People are more argumentative, more disrespectful, more selfish, more uncooperative, more likely to challenge authority, more volatile, more vitriolic and more often under the influence of something than I ever remember these days.  You will encounter them on a regular basis, and you’ll be expected to de-escalate and put yourself in dangerous positions that are  not in your best interest, rather than quickly going hands on, because the media and administrators that are beholden to them control the agenda.  This point has also been exacerbated in the last few months.  You need to be sure everything is recorded and everything is either on video or at least audio.  You will no longer be believed simply because you went through a months long hiring process, academy, FTO, etc.  You must take an active part in your own defense.

The Positive:

I could probably think of a few more negatives but if I haven’t talked you out of it by now I probably won’t.  In spite of all of this, I cannot think of anything I would rather do.  I’ve been very blessed to have had the opportunity to do what I wanted to do since before I was your age, what I was made for.  I can’t come to any other conclusion because nothing else sounds as interesting.  But that’s me.  It might not be you.  You do get to help people and you do get to positively influence people and maybe even change lives for the better.  Some people really are grateful.  As cliche as it is now, the Sheepdog analogy is a good one.  Having the capacity for violence and the skill to precisely and selectively apply that violence should not result in an attitude of superiority, but in an attitude of quiet confidence and professionalism.  And that’s a good thing.  Society needs people who can do this, especially now.  As George Orwell wrote:  “We sleep safe in our beds because rough men stand ready in the night to visit violence on those who would do us harm.”  

If you go to work for a big agency, you’ll have more choices in assignments and more ability to move around.  With a little agency not so much.  Go big or go home 😉  You’ll be safer in your own life and you’ll be able to keep your family safer not only because of skills you acquire, but also because you see what causes people to become victims and what causes people to make bad decisions.  This is a great education if you pay attention to it.  Many of the bad things that happen to us are the result of decisions we’ve made.  The ability to make good decisions, and quickly, is a good life skill.  Find an assignment you really enjoy and stay with it, or move around and change it up every two to four years.  Stay educated and constantly look for your own answers and further your own education.  This will keep you open minded and help reduce burnout, not to mention it will keep you smarter and help you solve or at least bandage complex problems quickly.  

So that’s about all I have to say.  Good luck and I hope you find your way.  The job isn’t for everyone and there’s no shame if it’s not for you.  But if it is, then do it well and do it right.

Random Shots

A collected work of random crap that I learned from somewhere that I can’t remember.

On Work:

If you are happy doing what you’re doing, like you just might do it for free but it’s nice to get paid too, then you’re winning. If you don’t like what you’re doing, then change it up as best you can so that you are happy. You only get one career, just like you only get one life. It’s yours. Use it as you see fit, preferably in the service of others.

There are countless leadership courses out there and precious few really good leaders. This is evidence of something.

And how exactly would you fix that? Who would you follow, who would you value, who would you respect, or preferably all three and why? Answer those questions, then be that person. You decide that you want to do this, you visualize it, you see yourself that way, everyday, then you become what you seek over time.

Your personal aspirations and desires for yourself are exactly that: For. Your. SELF. I want stuff too, sure I do. I don’t have all the answers and I’ve screwed things up plenty of times. But, if at any time you are more concerned with yourself and your own career aspirations than you are with benefiting your people, you have taken your eyes off the ball and the pitch will fly right past you.

You know how people say that moment they stopped looking for love is when they found her (or him)? That is it. There it is. Forget yourself. Be of service to others. If your boss sees you for who you are and rewards you, then so be it. If he (or she) doesn’t, then more important to be genuine and true and get passed over. Yeah, getting passed over sucks. But your career is temporal. Who you are as a human being is eternal. I’m going with the long money.

The moment I let go of it was the moment I got more than I could handle
The moment I jumped off of it was the moment I touched down- Alanis Morissette (Thank U)

If they’re not breaking the law, if they’re not violating policy or bringing discredit upon themselves or the department, then fucking let ‘em work.

You’re not the only rose in the bouquet and your way isn’t the only way. Guide. Mentor. Improve people through example, not necessarily involvement. Involve yourself when needed, when appropriate and always when asked. People need to know you’ll let them be who they are, but if they want to be saved then save them. This builds trust. Then push them out offshore again with some new tools and watch. And so it goes again and with every single one of them.

But just know, you can’t save everyone. Darwin had a point. The job is unforgiving, and part of being of service to others is to protect the group from the one that will hurt the rest through incompetence, laziness or whatever. Just as the centurion does not bear the sword in vain, you do not bear the stripes in vain. Use them sparingly, precisely and only to that extent that is needed. But when you do need to use them, you need to win. People should see you win. But don’t gloat, don’t brag and don’t advertise. Word will get around and that’s all you should need. Pick your battles wisely.

 

Have fun. Always find a way to have fun. See point number one above. Your career is yours, make it what you want. And have fun.

On Family:

Family is everything. The mountains are beautiful, but they’re millions of tons of granite, trees and water. They don’t talk back or interact. You don’t share yourself with them and they don’t know you, nor will they ever. People are at once the most frustrating and the most amazing. Try and stick to amazing. I’m doing really well with that right now and I want to keep it that way.

Haters gon’ hate
Players gon’ play
Live a life, man
Good luck- RM (BTS)

I didn’t think about it that much but one day I realized that most of the ink I have has to do with God, my girls (my family) and the duality of good and evil. And I’m not quite finished. And I also realized that people have been tattooing themselves with similar themes for thousands of years. Maybe we’re onto something here.

I love men. Stop it, pervert. What I mean is that men like being around other men. We get each other, it’s low stress mostly. There is commonality of experience, mutual respect, a good handshake and a look in the eye. Especially amongst brothers who go into harms way together, armed. Men need other (good) men. As iron sharpens iron, so does a brother sharpen a brother. But I love my girls. They are who I’m with and I know them. There is a depth, an emotional and a communicative intelligence that is unique to women. I can’t be truly a part of it because I’m a man, but I’m happy I get to get it on me and be influenced by it, because it is good.

On Marriage:

Love is a choice. The feeling is awesome, but feelings don’t solve problems. Intelligence, experience, moral character and willing service to your mate solves problems. There will always be more problems, whether internally in your relationship or externally that you both tackle together. Be a good teammate.

The commitment comes first. Above all else. If you are not willing to do this, you should not have gotten married, period. Sometimes your mate is a shit. Sometimes you are a shit. People get sick. People get hurt. People sometimes aren’t whole anymore like they were when you got married. Maybe you’re not whole anymore. But fix it, together as best you can. One of you is the rock, then the other one of you is the rock. When you both need a rock and neither of you is capable then there is only God. At times like that, people may not be the best choice. The Lord is always true and really, He should have been there all along even before the bad stuff happened. The commitment comes first, because sometimes that’s all there is.

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when the perfect comes, the partial will pass away. When I was a child, I spoke like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways. For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known. So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love.

– 1 Corinthians 13 : 4-13 ESV

On Fitness and Food:

Eat meat and vegetables, nuts and seeds, some fruit, little starch and no sugar. Keep intake to levels that will support exercise but not body fat. – Greg Glassman

Everyday when I wake up I drink an 8 to 10 ounce glass of water, preferably cool to cold. Most days after that I eat an orange and then wait a few minutes before breakfast. Citrus is golden. It encourages fat burning and has amazing phytochemicals and antioxidants. I think there’s something to this.

Ideally if you’re training for something, your training should be harder than the actual event you’re training for. So that when it happens, you’re in a comfort zone, not a panic zone. This is not easy. Not easy at all. But it is the answer, so at least now you know. You’re not training for anything? What could happen at work? Anything? Great, then train to handle anything.

Run hard, run fast, lift heavy stuff, carry heavy stuff, repeat.

You do not rise to the occasion, rather you sink to your level of training.

Sleep is highly, highly underrated. Coffee can’t fix it, Monster or Rockstar can’t fix it, Copenhagen can’t fix it. Exercise, good food and SLEEP can fix it.

On Retirement:

“When he reached the new world, Cortez burned his ships. As a result, his men were well motivated.”- Marco Ramius (The Hunt for Red October)

I have done this for 28 years. I know little else. But I do know work ethic and hard work. Those two things can create promise if applied to something one is interested in. I should know in a few weeks or months whether I’ll continue in a new place. If I do, there will be new area, new environments and new people. If I do or if I don’t then God will have revealed his plan partially. I will find a path.

Everything has it’s season. My replacement was decided and a transfer list came out before I even left. I am a replaceable piece of a machine, a number on a file in an office or a computer, just like everyone else. The only place I’m not replaceable is with my family. Time to work on us and catch up, and relax for a while, until the next adventure.

I thank my co-workers, my brothers and sisters in arms for giving me a place and a home away from home. I cannot repay what you have given me, but you can’t repay it either so it’s cool. We do for each other because there is no one else that will and we do it from a place of love. We are the only ones who understand each other and that will never change. To all those who have worn the badge, and to those that still do, my utmost love and respect. Anytime, anywhere.

For my family, thank you for your everlasting love. I could not have weathered the storm without you. Your sacrifice in putting up with schedules, callouts, trauma, haters, times when I wasn’t right and all the rest of it I can never repay. But I’ll do it for you too. I love you more than I can every properly express.

For my wife, thank you for your eternal and undying loyalty. You are the most solid, moral, ethical and grounded sister I know. My best friend and my rock. I would have nothing without you. Thank you for the commitment, thank you for our journey. “There’s no normal life Wyatt, there’s just life”.

Don’t Do It. (Part Two)

“There is no such thing as paranoia. Your worst fears can come true at any moment.”- Hunter S. Thompson

“Out of every one hundred men, ten shouldn’t even be there, eighty are just targets, nine are the real fighters, and we are lucky to have them, for they make the battle. Ah, but the one, one is a Warrior, and he will bring the others back.”
– Attributed to Heraclitus, 500 BC.

“Regard your soldiers as your children, and they will follow you into the deepest valleys; look on them as your own beloved sons, and they will stand by you even unto death.”- Sun Tzu

 

Hello again young man. It occurred to me after my last post (link here if you missed it) that there really are a whole slew of very negative aspects about law enforcement, but I may have spent too much time on them. But, those are all real things and they’re all hard to deal with. They suck and there’s no sugar coating it. They will take their toll on you. And I don’t want to see anyone go through that, so that’s why I recommend that you pick a different career. Still, there are obviously a lot of people that want to be cops. Every time we test for new hires, we have hundreds of people come out to compete for no where near that many positions. Guys like you. So why is that? With all the negative press, all the hostility, all the media lies and mischaracterizations, do people still want to do this job? I thought it might be a good idea to spend some time on that so you can see the other side of the coin. Once again, I recommend that you DON’T DO IT. However, if you choose this path I will welcome you, love you and support you, and as Sun Tzu’s quote says above, regard you as one of my own.

The fact that I’ve quoted Hunter S. Thompson, a journalist, along with Heraclitus and Sun Tzu, both military men and warriors of great historical stature is a perfect metaphor for who and how you need to be if you choose to become a cop. Not the quotes themselves, but their sources. Try to be a mix. A cultured and educated softy able to have a conversation about emotions and feelings and love all the while fingering the 9mm on your belt that you’re very skilled with, that belies the fact that the softy stops at some point and we then find the Warrior. There is A LOT of pressure from different non-law enforcement sources these days to abandon the idea that cops should be warriors. The new catch word being used to soften us and shape us into an image that the Sheep are more comfortable with is, “Guardian”.

Removing the Warrior from law enforcement is impossible, and if it ever comes to pass that it happens, this country will fail. You have to love people and be ready to do battle with them at the same time. You have to spend most of your time negotiating with people from a position of love, all the while being confident that you can use force effectively and decisively if your attempts to solve the problem peacefully fail and they try to hurt you. You have to serve them and help them and do the right thing, while always tempering that philosophy with the capacity for aggression. And you have to understand that if it comes to using force, you have to win and you have to win quickly. Maintaining this duality day after day, the mental flexibility and alertness that is required, causes a lot of stress.

To the quotes themselves. I like many of Thompson’s quotes and they show he was a very wise man. Anything really can happen to you at any moment. It is the denial of this fact, or the acknowledgement of it, that differentiates the Sheep from the Sheepdogs. And there is something else. It is human nature to varying degrees, depending upon the personality, to gravitate back toward being a Sheep. For the real Sheepdog, the best defense against this is the constant and intentional acknowledgement that the Wolves do in fact exist, and you don’t necessarily know who and where they are. Some are obvious, some are not. Thus preparation and training. Thus alertness and temperament. This is the difference.

As to Heraclitus, I love this quote. The true Warrior who will bring his brothers and sisters home probably is one in a hundred. Be that guy. At least set that as your goal and devote your energy to becoming that guy. Nobody really knows until the moment of truth, when you’re tested in circumstances that open the need for The One. Those caustic and toxic and destructive tests that non-Warriors refuse to acknowledge, for which the potential consequences of failure may be death. Fortunately those tests don’t happen that often, but when they do you need The Warrior. The Guardian is who you are the rest of the time.

The last quote relates mainly to leadership. If you become a cop and later you promote, or if you find yourself in a position of leadership in another capacity, this is important. That one quote will solve 90% of all leadership problems. I’ve just removed about 50 hours of instruction from the 80 hour sergeant school. To paraphrase Jesus Christ- “Love your neighbor as yourself”. Never expect any of your people to do anything that you yourself are not willing (and hopefully capable) of doing. Be the example that you would follow. All the while keeping your head on a swivel, because the Wolves are out there.

The Point of all this?

I’m supposed to be encouraging you right? Ok, here we go. You get to do things and see things that other people don’t get to do. Now, while plenty of those things you see are terrible, the things you DO can be worth the price. The kids that have been abused by one or both parents. Or a drunk boyfriend or a drug addict mom. You can take them. Given the proper legal requirements, you can rescue them and create a legal separation between them and their abusers, and while you’re doing it, you can show them the love they might have never had. You won’t be there for long, but those kids will remember that for the rest of their lives, so do it right and be a good example.

You might be able to pull a young kid away from the scene of a traffic collision and start working on him. A scene where the kid is unconscious on the ground and being pelted with water from a fire hydrant that was sheared off, ingesting it. You might get a letter later on from his mom, thanking you for saving her boy. You might have trauma nurses tell you what you did was what made the difference. You might use your skills with your weapons to save a wife and mom. A fine lady that just had the misfortune of going to the bank at the wrong time and got taken hostage by a guy that has nothing to lose, but was stupid and came outside and created an opportunity for you. Will she be traumatized? Yeah. But she doesn’t have to die, because you took things seriously and practiced that shot a hundred times.

You might negotiate with a young person who can’t see a way out and decided that death is preferable to life. You might get them to put the knife down and come with you. Later on you might learn that they figured it out and now they’re married and have a family. You can be in these positions. At any time and without warning. And you can win and make the difference. Other people don’t get to. Not that they couldn’t if they trained, but those aren’t the people at the other end of 911. You are. And because you volunteered and committed yourself 100% to being a 5% guy, you can be positioned to do what needs doing at the moment when it needs to happen.

Cops and Robbers:

“Off through the new day’s mist I run
Out from the new day’s mist I have come
I hunt therefore I am
Harvest the land
Taking of the fallen lamb”- From Of Wolf and Man by Metallica

I thought that Metallica stole the line “I hunt therefore I am” from somewhere else, but I can’t find any reference to that effect so maybe it is theirs. No matter. The point being is that I have made peace with the fact that I am a predator. Not a brutal and indiscriminate, criminal predator. But a principled, ethical and controlled predator. As I’ve alluded to, a non-predator cannot confront a predator. You can imagine how it will go if a Sheep walks out into the field and tells the Wolf, “Stop that!” And the Wolf looks upon him and sees he has no capacity for violence and sees he has no equipment or tools. And the Wolf replies to him “Thanks for volunteering, I’m hungry.” An example:

“There was research conducted a few years ago with individuals convicted of violent crimes. These cons were in prison for serious, predatory acts of violence: assaults, murders and killing law enforcement officers. The vast majority said that they specifically targeted victims by body language: slumped walk, passive behavior and lack of awareness. They chose their victims like big cats do in Africa, when they select one out of the herd that is least able to protect itself. However, when there were cues given by potential victims that indicated they would not go easily, the cons said that they would walk away. If the cons sensed that the target was a “counter-predator,” that is, a sheepdog, they would leave him alone unless there was no other choice but to engage.”- From On Combat by Dave Grossman

My point with all this philosophy is that you need to find these things out about yourself. Can you do this? Once you decide the answer is yes, once you get hired, graduate the academy and find yourself in a police car, you’ll be (or you should be) in the business of hunting people. And let me tell you, the hunt is where it’s at. Obviously not hunting like you’re going around looking for people to hurt. No. Looking for criminals to arrest and thereby either solve crimes that have already happened, or prevent crimes that are about to happen. Maybe you have a “Be On The Lookout” bulletin and some information to work with and you go to the right place and catch your bad guy. Maybe you’re assigned to a warrant detail and you get paid to find people that don’t want to be found.  Maybe you’re stopping people for traffic violations and discover you’ve stopped some people with stolen property and counterfeit money in the car. Maybe you know the route an Amber Alert suspect might be on, so you set up there and sure enough, there he goes and it’s on.  This dynamic makes a lot of people very uncomfortable.  The criteria you use to decide who to stop occupies a huge percentage of debate and argument about cops and how they do their jobs.  Pretext stops are legal, i.e. stopping people for violations that are not actually the focus of what you’re trying to find out.  Like stopping someone for an expired tag because they look nervous and have tried very hard not to pass you in traffic and they don’t want to make eye contact.  Why is that?  As long as you’re not stopping people based on race, orientation or other personal factors (unless it’s part of a specific description of a suspect), you still get to play cops and robbers.

And you get paid for playing cops and robbers. The consequences and the dangers are real, but the game is FUN. And despite all the bad things, despite the abuse, the media, the lies and all that, it’s a necessary and noble endeavor. So yes there is bad, plenty of it. But there is good, and really the good is all what you make of it. You create most of the good for yourself. Or your partners create it and you get to play too. It’s an unforgiving business. Every year a lot of cops die in the line of duty. Yet people still line up by the hundreds for a shot at it. If you find yourself led that way, then go for it. But have no illusions about what you’re getting yourself into. Good luck young man.

DON’T DO IT. Unless you want to.

I met up with my parents a few days ago for dinner, and my dad said that he has a friend at church whose son wants to become a police officer. He’s 18 and my dad asked if I might put together something in writing that would be of help to him in making his decision about whether to do it. I had been thinking about writing a piece like this for a long time and this seemed like a good motivator to finally do it. So thanks Dad! Here goes.

The Negative:

Short answer for you young man: DON’T DO IT. I’ll get to the rest of the title later because that’s not my final answer, but it’s my first instinct answer. I cannot wish the bad things on anyone. Here’s a partial list of negatives that you will experience if you become a cop. It might be easier this way than writing it in paragraph format.

1. You’re everyone’s favorite person to hate. You represent THEM. The people that take away rights and shut down good times. The oppressors. There are a lot of people who feel that way.
2. Everyone knows your job better than you do, because they saw it on TV or they have a friend who is a cop. And they’re not afraid to tell you that you’re doing it wrong, usually when you’re under stress and trying to do the job that they say you’re doing wrong.
3. You’re cannon fodder to everyone except your family, your fellow cops and a few concerned citizens that actually do love you. These citizens are diamonds in the rough. They do exist but don’t expect to find one. Expectation is the source of all disappointment, so just don’t. Be glad when you find one, then get back to not expecting to find any more.
4. Unfortunately the background process doesn’t weed out all the bad apples. You will encounter ethical dilemmas and corruption amongst other cops, and you may have to take enforcement action against another cop. You may then be viewed as a rat or a buddy f$%#er if others don’t know the details of the situation. If you know about something and do nothing, you may get drawn into it and get fired because you knew and did nothing. You don’t get to do nothing anymore, at least you shouldn’t.
5. Worry about doing your job professionally and correctly, not about making people like you. They don’t. Many will act like they do, as a form of manipulation to get you to do what they want. It’s fake. You have to build walls. You have to be compassionate enough to be a human being to people that need a human being in that moment of crisis, but don’t let them cross your walls. Sometimes they do and you can’t stop it, and those are the things you remember, the things that change you. But you need to have walls that stay intact the majority of the time, because if you don’t then the overwhelming negativity of the job will destroy you. Ever fly on an airplane? Remember the safety briefing: Put on your mask before you help others. Because if you’re dead you can’t help others. If you let the job kill you then you can’t help others, and more importantly you can’t provide for your family.
6. I saw a meme on Facebook that read: “Police Officer- Someone who does precision guesswork based on unreliable data provided by those of questionable knowledge, see also Wizard, Magician.” Never was there a more true statement. You will constantly get called into situations that took years to deteriorate and people will expect you to fix them in an hour or two. Occasionally you can really do some good. Most of the time you can’t. Remember: No expectations. But you have to act like you aren’t subscribing to the idea of not having expectations. Remember how you have to build walls? Well your walls aren’t just to keep other people out, they’re also to keep you in. You can’t share your true feelings with people because often they aren’t good. You get callous and hard and when people see that they think you’re an asshole. They’re already going to think that, but the idea is to convince them that they’re wrong and you’re not really an asshole, because who wants to call for help and have an asshole respond? Nobody. You’ll need to get good at acting. It’s taken me a long time to get better at it, I still have work to do.
7. You see a lot of death. A lot of violent death, a lot of traffic collision death, a lot of (especially these days) drug overdose death, a lot of natural death, a lot of suicide death. If you stay in the business long enough you will know someone who dies in the line of duty. It might be you that dies in the line of duty.
8. There are a lot of ways you can die in this business. You can get shot or stabbed or run over intentionally by a vehicle. You could get shot by a sniper (Dallas P.D.) and never know what happened. You can die in a car crash. You can get exposed to biological hazards that can kill you like Hepatitis C, HIV or other diseases that can permanently compromise your health. And, if you don’t know you have it you could pass it on to your family. You can get exposed to chemical agents that can kill you, like Fentanyl, chemicals in Meth labs, toxic fumes at residential and especially vehicle fires, hazardous material spills on the highway and so on.
9. There are a lot of long term hazards that you will suffer from. Some that are unavoidable and others that aren’t. Unavoidable examples include shift work and irregular sleep patterns. Working tired all the time. Spending a lot of time in a seated position. Going from a relatively relaxed state to a high stress state with the associated jump in adrenaline and heart rate, potentially several times a day for many years. Constant stress from continually encountering angry, hostile, difficult, condescending, disobedient, insulting or indifferent people. You can construct good walls, like I said, but they are never perfect or impenetrable. Mostly avoidable examples of stuff that can kill you or hurt you are poor diet, lack of exercise, repetitive motions of getting in and out of a car wearing equipment multiple times a day (the activity isn’t avoidable, but the consequence may be through appropriate exercise programs), drinking too much, suicide, failing to deal with stress effectively, and so on. Bad knees, bad back, cardiac problems, stress symptoms, PTSD are all possibilities of diminished long term health. You may need a counselor at some point. Nobody wants to admit this and it’s nobody’s business really, but when the other options are alcohol, drugs, suicide, becoming a bitter lifelong asshole or something else, the counselor (a good one that gets you) really starts to become more appealing. If you marry a woman that isn’t in the job, then no matter how good she is, she really won’t understand. Because experiential learning is really the only way people understand and empathize with others. If you marry a woman who is in the job, she’ll have the same problems you do and more, because she’ll be fighting gender stereotypes along with the other stuff, because this is a male dominated profession.
10. If you aren’t fully and completely committed to the job with your entire being, then please, don’t even bother. There are more than enough mediocre cops out there and we don’t need any more. Southern California is one of the best case scenarios for professionalism, work expectations, good training, salary and quality of agencies. Even here there are plenty of folks who should probably be doing something else. If you just need a paycheck, don’t bother. If you just want a retirement, don’t bother. If your feelings about morality and right and wrong are not clean and strong, don’t bother. Do something else. If you’re going to do the job, be a five percenter. Be that guy that does everything well and has all his bases covered. Accept nothing less. Or don’t bother.
11. Agency politics suck. Especially in a small agency. It’s an unfortunate reality of the human condition that most of the time, the people who make the policies you have to exist under do not have to work or exist under their own policies, because they don’t do your job. So people who either don’t know what it’s like, or used to know what it’s like but forgot because they haven’t done it in forever and the world changed while they were gone, will tell you what to do and you have to obey them because they’re your superiors. Another diamond in the rough personality is the administrator who was a real cop and really did the job and retains continuous exposure to it either through direct experience or constant communication with people at the front line level. Those people generally make good policy and good decisions. If you find one of these people, get under his command and never leave. The grass is not greener on the other side.
12. Face time and regular interaction with decision makers is what gets you assignments. Not necessarily skills, abilities, work performance or reputation. If you want something, you’ll have to play the game. The game sucks, so your decision will be whether what you want is worth playing the game of rubbing elbows (aka kissing asses) for. I don’t personally like it, some people do. Figuring yourself and your priorities out ahead of time will greatly assist you in deciding how you’re going to roll with this one.
13. Nobody understands cops except other cops. If you truly love the job and being a cop is who you are to your core, your friends will be other cops in many cases. As soon as you pin on the badge, your relationships with other people you knew before will change almost immediately. This depends to some extent on who your friends were or are, what they’re into and what their views of right and wrong are. The first thing your friends will say when introducing you to others is “This is Joe, he’s a cop.” Then, for the rest of the party you can expect at least a couple of questions about why some other cop did something or some insulting crack like, “I got a ticket because I didn’t have big boobs”, or “I got pulled over and the cop was such an asshole” and so on. It’s easier not to deal with it, at least at my age. Plus “normal” people do things at parties and elsewhere that you shouldn’t be participating in. Which is why you’re always introduced as “This is Joe, he’s a cop.”
14. You may be called upon to take someone’s life. Your inaction or unwillingness to take someone’s life may result in the death of a third party or another cop, or yourself. You cannot be ambiguous about this and you have to make this decision before hand. If you aren’t willing or you don’t know, don’t even bother. We live in an unprecedented threat environment. If you’re going to do it, then be extremely proficient with your weapons and equipment. If you’re not a gun person, become one. That is at least enough to go to the range a minimum of once a month, preferably more. Qualification courses are generally not good for anything other than general accuracy. Shoot multiple shot drills, multiple targets, malfunction drills, magazine changes, weak hand drills, rifle drills, application of tourniquets to yourself and others, shooting from awkward positions and so on.
15. If you have to take someone’s life, you will almost certainly be sued by the suspects family. You can expect years of additional stress and legal issues. If the person you killed is a person of color and you are white, you will be branded a racist. The news media will selectively edit video, deliberately sensationalize or deliberately create controversy because they aren’t in the news business anymore. They’re in the entertainment, social engineering and agenda pushing business. You will not get a fair shake except by other people that understand the job, namely other cops. Remember, no expectations. Don’t expect a fair shake, because you won’t get one.
16. The job will change you. You will have a front row seat for the whole sum of human depravity, dysfunction, idiocy, victimhood and sociopathic tendencies. You will not be the same person you were after even a few years in the job. If you survive a whole career, you won’t really even remember who that guy was.
17. People are more argumentative, more disrespectful, more selfish, more uncooperative, more likely to challenge authority, more volatile, more vitriolic and more often under the influence of something than I ever remember these days. You will encounter them on a regular basis, and you’ll be expected to de-escalate and put yourself in dangerous positions that are not in your best interest, rather than quickly going hands on, because the media and administrators that are beholden to them control the agenda.

The Positive:

I could probably think of a few more negatives but if I haven’t talked you out of it by now I probably won’t. In spite of all of this, I cannot think of anything I would rather do. I’ve been very blessed to have had the opportunity to do what I wanted to do since before I was your age, what I was made for. I can’t come to any other conclusion because nothing else sounds as interesting. But that’s me. It might not be you. You do get to help people, and you do get to positively influence people and maybe even change lives for the better. Some people really are grateful. As cliche as it is now, the Sheepdog analogy is a good one. Having the capacity for violence and the skill to precisely and selectively apply that violence should not result in an attitude of superiority, but in an attitude of quiet confidence and professionalism. And that’s a good thing. Society needs people who can do this, especially now. As George Orwell wrote: “We sleep safe in our beds because rough men stand ready in the night to visit violence on those who would do us harm.”

If you go to work for a big agency, you’ll have more choices in assignments and more ability to move around. With a little agency not so much. Go big or go home 😉 You’ll be safer in your own life and you’ll be able to keep your family safer not only because of skills you acquire, but also because you see what causes people to become victims and what causes people to make bad decisions. This is a great education if you pay attention to it. Many of the bad things that happen to us are the result of decisions we’ve made. The ability to make good decisions, and quickly, is a good life skill. Find an assignment you really enjoy and stay with it, or move around and change it up every two to four years. Stay educated and constantly look for your own answers and further your own education. This will keep you open minded and help reduce burnout, not to mention it will keep you smarter and help you solve or at least bandage complex problems quickly.

So that’s about all I have to say. Good luck and I hope you find your way. The job isn’t for everyone and there’s no shame if it’s not for you. But if it is, then do it well and do it right.

Stream of Consciousness

I haven’t had the desire to write in a long time, however now that I have to find things to do with my time with limited options due to not many people to do it with and not much money, I guess I’ll just barf off at the mind and get my brain cleared out. For the next couple of hours anyway. Screw politics. I hate politics. Everyone says they hate politics, until you finally realize that politics is people and people are politics. Politics are how people deal with each other and how people make decisions about other people and courses of actions and statements about things and yada yada yada. It was a dark day indeed when I realized there is no escape. The only escape I’ve found so far is to simplify your life as much as possible so that you don’t need anything from anyone, that way you won’t have to make deals, make compromises, cater to viewpoints you don’t agree with in order to stay in the loop and viable. Get out of the loop. Easier said than done. Unless you’re retired or independently wealthy or have some other means of supporting yourself that doesn’t require a job or a criminal enterprise, you’ll have to put up with it. Some politics are worth it. Family politics. That is, the nuclear family. Your wife or husband and your kids. Not so much the extended family politics or work politics. That’s the stuff that sucks more. Compromise and mutual respect are worth it with your spouse, your partner, your best friend, your soul mate, your everything. I wish everyone had these things in their spouse, because I do and it’s really awesome. Arguments? Ya, sometimes. Angry? Ya, sometimes. Best partner in the world? Ya, all the time. I love my family. I love Kelley, I love Alix, I love Amanda, I love Emma. So much. Being away from all of them because of “The Plan” has made me value them even more. I’m on an island. It’s an island that has other people on it but this island is in the OC where people can live next to each other for years and never know each other’s names. I’m not sure but a real island might be better, as long as it had an internet connection and an airport so I could get home.
The 2016 election was a complete goat fuck. Sorry but that’s what it was. The fact that Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump are the two candidates this country had to offer us is fucking pathetic. Hillary Clinton, one of the most corrupt people to ever walk the face of the earth, who was put up as a candidate immediately years before the election and who was never really contested by anyone else of any seriousness because it was a coronation and not an election, and then shepherded through the whole thing by adoring Democrats who weren’t worried about the very extensive evidence of corruption. Sick. And then there’s Trump. Trump got to where he was by disrupting and talking straight about things he might not know much about, and tapping in to everyone on the right who were pissed about where the country was and where it was going and not lying (very much). No experience as a politician at all. None. Which sounds good until you (see above) realize that politics is how people get things done with one another. The fact that there were no other Republican candidates that could beat him is sad. I could never vote for Clinton, ever. Fucking never. Voting for Trump was about the Supreme Court and the 2nd Amendment and freedom. I know people who are single issue or two issue voters on the other side too. It’s not just me. Do I like the way he’s going about his job? I love that he’s doing what he said he was going to do. No bullshit, here it is. This is what you asked for bitches, here it comes. Do I like the amateurish, bullheaded way it’s being done? Not really. Bullheaded I can work with. The other side is every bit as bullheaded, they just do a better job of making you think that they’re not. Amateurish, not so much. Amateurish brings trouble later on when people who actually know what they’re doing take your ass to court. Do I think there should be a wall? Probably, but there won’t be. Promising is one thing, delivering is another. If they actually start construction on that thing, you better believe the drug cartels and the Mexican government will engage in everything from political threats to terrorist attacks on construction crews to stop it. In order to protect the construction workers they’ll have to have armed military or law enforcement with them all the time. And in four years it’s going to be a moot point unless he gets re-elected. Do I think Trump is a racist? Nope. There’s ample evidence that he’s not, but that’s not what the Left wants you to believe. There is absolutely a war for your mind going on and all bets are off and all options are on the table for the win. Look for your own answers. Nothing in the media shows up there without an agenda behind it. The days of hard, straight news reporting are almost over. Look for your own answers.

I love my family. I miss them. We are following The Plan and as a result I’m missing two years of their lives. Who would do this on purpose? This plan required trust, love hard work and then some. But we’re up to it. We are. We’re good together. We decided that doing it this way would allow Kelley to be at the house full time and work on the renovation while I worked as much as I could and pulled some big paychecks to pay for it all before I retire. We didn’t want to renovate an older property that needed so much work on a fixed retirement income. I might continue to work once I get up there. I might test with another agency. It’s a great time to get out of law enforcement, but that’s all I’ve done for 27 years and it’s the easiest way into another paycheck without having to retrain. I wouldn’t mind retraining, but retraining doesn’t pay bills. Not right away anyhow. So that’s The Plan and as much as it sucks, The Plan is working. Kelley is amazing. She’s been able to save us tens of thousands of dollars by doing things herself. I’ve done some to help out, like demolishing much of the rock inside the house and stuff like that, but she’s done the majority. The transformation of the house is amazing. You wouldn’t notice it so much from outside, because she’s mainly working on the inside. But the inside is much different and much better. Kelley’s sister Michelle is an interior designer, and her brother Mike is a general contractor who can fix anything. Between her own skills and advice from the two of them and a few outside electricians, plumbers and contractors, she’s transformed the house from Boogie Nights 1983 party house into a sophisticated home with an eye for cute and comfy and ranchy. That’s RANCHY, not raunchy. I can’t wait to move. I love my department, I love the people I work with, but I’d rather be at home. The OC was home for a long, long time. But not so much anymore. My heart is in Nevada and being in the OC feels like being a Stranger in a Strange Land (the Iron Maiden song of the same name is pretty cool by the way). Stranger in a Strange Land dovetails perfectly with law enforcement too, incidentally. Because this is an extraordinarily strange land. The eggshell is so white and pure from the outside, but you crack that egg and find out whats under the surface and it’s quite something. Quite strange, quite unexpected, quite fun, quite weird, quite dangerous, quite disgusting, quite beautiful. I want out but I love it but I want out, but what do I want?
I love the mountains. I worked by the beach and being by the ocean was nice. I like the ocean. But when I went back to working by the mountains, I knew they were for me, or maybe I was for them. I’m a mountain guy, not a water guy. I like dirt. Mountain bikes, backpacking, hiking, all good. I want the mountains and my family both and at the same time. A little over a year. Forever when you’re in it but on the tail end it’s all about what happened and where did all the time go? I want to learn new stuff and keep my mind occupied and engaged. Use it or lose it. The evidence is indicating that people who have things expected of them, something they need to do, things they need to accomplish are better off than those who don’t have anything going on. I think people need challenge, they need growth. Being able to do whatever you want whenever you want sounds nice and for some it probably is, but there is merit in work and good things in work just as there are good things in relaxation. Balance. Amanda told me she’s working out all the time these days. I’m so happy for her. People at work say they don’t have time. Bullshit. The problem 95% of the time is they don’t have priority. If it’s a priority, you find time, simple as that. And it’s good. I’m a bit of a fanatic about it. I know that about myself. But science is on my side, and the science is only increasingly supportive these days. Can you be truly healthy without being an athlete? To paraphrase Greg Glassman, No. Athletes enjoy a protection from the ravages of aging and disease that non-athletes never find. So you need to play pro? Nope. Everyone at the gym is referred to as an athlete, some of more ability and some of less ability, but you work to your full potential, whatever that is.
Love each other. There is going to be a civil war between Right and Left. In case you hadn’t noticed, it’s already here. Right now it’s a cold war, mostly non-violent except for places like Berkeley. The extreme elements are controlling the agenda and like a black hole they are pulling more and more moderates into their sphere of shit spewing. The moderates, the ones in the middle, the ones who compromise and work things out have to win. Because if they don’t things are really going to suck. Both sides need each other. I don’t want to live under pure Leftist or pure Right Wing policies and viewpoints. Balance. Love each other and find balance. Respect one another. Help one another. Walk around with your eyes wide open. Have a plan, but help and love and enjoy people. Somehow. Some way. Going to the gym and going to work and it starts again for another week. And another short one and then I get to go home for a while.

The derailment of Rant #2

So for the last 45 minutes or so of my shift today I was driving around, mentally penning my second rant about police work. Some of you may have seen my first installment, but if not you can piss yourself off by reading it here.  I had spoken to a couple of guys during the day about how frustrating police work is now with respect to drug users, addicts and the crime that they do, and the fact that it’s virtually impossible to keep them in jail. Many people (voters) are in fact living under a rock, in my angry and dissatisfied with the direction society is going in opinion. This explains the passage of Proposition 47 in California, which was titled the Safe Streets and Schools Act or some such bullshit. Without launching into a lengthy policy statement about all the ins and outs, the law reduced possession of hard drugs like methamphetamine and heroin to a misdemeanor. So, under most circumstances when the cops catch someone in possession, they get a ticket and they go on their way. Then they get caught again and it’s the same thing, and again, and again, and again. Many of these folks have several open cases and they’ll all get combined and maybe they’ll do a little jail time and not have any probation, because the incentive to prosecute and the laws are such that basically nobody cares. Except the cops. Well, some of the cops. Same thing with shoplifting and possession of stolen property under $950. Get a ticket and you’re on your way.
Now, seeing as how a very substantial percentage of crime is drug related in some way (possession of, sales of, asshole behavior induced by being under the influence of, theft, burglary and robbery to provide for more drugs, etc.), any moron can see what’s going to happen here. You create a situation where crime does in fact start to pay, because mass incarceration just doesn’t work. The hell it doesn’t. Expensive? Yep. But at least it keeps crooks away from society for a while. Whatever. At any rate, there are a lot more crooks out there doing a lot more crime and it’s very difficult to keep them in jail. If you’re a drug user, California is the place for you. This is frustrating for people who want to stop crime and make society safer.
So back to my rant. I’m filling up my police car at a gas station and thinking all this and I become fatalistic about all of it. Fatalism allows for the creation of some really pissy thinking and that’s where I found myself. I’m saying to myself and plotting this blog… you know, we are really the only people that give a shit. The voters don’t care, because they voted for this train wreck. The crooks don’t care because well, they’re crooks. The District Attorney doesn’t care because they are concerned primarily with their conviction rates. They need convictions to look productive to their boss and so they only file cases that are likely to be won, or they offer a plea and farm out justice to get a cheesy conviction. But it’s a conviction at least. So keep that in mind if you’re ever a crime victim. If anyone is ever arrested, and if the District Attorney actually files the case (poor people are easier to win against, so hopefully you get victimized by a deadbeat), any “justice” you receive will be incidental to the career path of the DA and their work ethic. So who really cares? I do, but why? It’s really frustrating to care. I should just not. Care that is. I mean, really, this is like a game, a sporting contest to use a strange metaphor. I’m feeling like here we are on the field. We got our asses kicked, the crooks won, they got the trophy. They jumped up and down and gave us the bird, took the trophy and split. The referee was busy on Facebook because he doesn’t care either and he left too, and the people that run the press box turned out the lights and went home, and here we are, a few lonely cops on the field, in the dark still playing a game that nobody cares about. Why. The. Hell. Are. We. Doing. This?
This is stupid. I’m finishing up my gas and I see an old man walking straight at me from somewhere. I didn’t see where he came from because I was busy being pissed off. He’s walking with a purpose and I first think about the cop that recently got shot dead while getting gas simply because he was a cop. I look at the old man’s hands and they’re empty. He’s still walking (I think he’s prior service, because he was way too determined looking). He says “Hey!”, loudly. “How ya doin?” I reply. The old man extends his hand, shakes mine with a firm and manly grip (as a man you appreciate these things), and says “Thank you for everything you do for us. You ARE appreciated.” He breaks his grip and walks off toward the gas station.

BOOM.

The Lord certainly does work in mysterious ways. And sometimes not so mysterious. Sometimes He just whacks you in the side of the head with a sap and says “Hey, when you’re done feeling sorry for yourself, why don’t you just go ahead and get back to work.” At the very least, even if a big percentage of this job did become sort of pointless, there is a purpose. There is a meaning. At the top of the list is service to Him, and thereby service to society and my guys and gals that have also chosen to do this. Thank you old man, and thank you Lord for sending him at the exact moment that he stepped into my life, and back out again. But not really out. Not really. Because I’m writing about him and enjoying my latest smackdown.

You have to jump in if you want to be able to swim.

We were coming home yesterday from spending almost three weeks at our place in Northern Nevada. The community there is a farming and agricultural community but is also mixed with light industry and service industry occupations. Attitudes are generally kind, more conservative and characterized by rugged individualism mixed with compassion. Strong outdoor culture and self reliance are noted in the culture and people are living at a slower and more relaxed pace. It’s easy to decompress up there because the community is in a bubble basically, sandwiched between rural area on one side and urban on the other side. When we’re up there, Kelley and I are working our asses off renovating and maintaining the property. We bought a fixer upper, a big time fixer upper. Our vision is that it’s not about what it is right now, but what it will be when we conquer it and make it into what we want.
People who come to visit say it will be amazing when it’s done and this kind of encouragement is really good for me because there is so much to be done that it’s easy to get overwhelmed if we don’t set realistic goals and chip away at all the projects. I have a hard time with home improvement. For one thing, I’m not mechanically inclined. I have to do things multiple times and actually put my hands on stuff before I start to get it, and I like sticking to what I’m good at. So, every time I put myself out there and do something I’m not familiar with, like driving a tractor, using a Sawzall or a Demolition hammer (aka Jackhammer), or burning and scraping glue off the concrete with a weed burner and a scraping tool, I’m uncomfortable. My solace comes from having Kelley, who is the best teammate I could ever ask for working on the place with me, and from the knowledge that if other people have done these things then I can too.
Like I said, I like sticking to what I’m good at. When I do, I feel successful because I don’t have a learning curve and I don’t usually make many mistakes because I’m already good at it. Unfortunately, never venturing out into new territory also means that I will never grow and become a better and more capable person. I had a loose revelation about this when we were on our way home and this dynamic of pushing myself out there so I can be better was related back to my current law enforcement career for me by some strange circumstances I happened into. The takeaway on the story I’m about to tell you is this: You will not be able to effectively operate in a particular environment unless you expose yourself to that environment on a regular basis and learn it’s pitfalls, positives and how to navigate it’s intricacies. A more cliche version: Use it or lose it.
We had driven most of the way home and were traveling through Adelanto, California which is a few miles north of the Cajon Pass. This area is high desert and not really the nicest area in the world, although the city sign reads “The City with Unlimited Possibilities”. Kelley and Emma had to use the bathroom so we stopped at a gas station/truck stop and I pulled up right next to the door and noted that there was a crappy looking mini-van on the island next to me and a rather well dressed female meandering around on the gasoline island along with the other customers and cars that were there. Kelley and Emma went inside and within 30 seconds of them leaving this female comes over and starts pleading for gas money while I’m still sitting in my truck. Now, keep in mind that from my work experience I really don’t like being approached by people when I’m sitting in my car. Because I’m trapped in there and I have no freedom of movement and no quick way to deal with things unless I get out. Mentally switching immediately into work mode, I pulled up my shirt slightly as she said she needed money for gas while gesturing to a shiny BMW 750i parked on the island. I rested my hand on my Glock 43 9mm and asked a couple of questions of her, such as “Which car is yours?” to which she replied, “The BMW”. My next question was “Who does the car belong to?” and she said “It belongs to me.” All this is happening as I notice that some guy is fumbling around the rear of the car and she then tells me that there’s something wrong with it and it’s making a weird noise. My next thought is, how is gas money going to help a mechanical problem? Predators and Prey, interacting with each other. I’ve been reminded that I need to be more generous, but with the inconsistencies in this scenario I was not in the mood to give up my money. I told her I’d see what I could do when my wife got back and she walked away. Immediately after she walked away the guy from the aforementioned crappy minivan, who had an almost shaved head and gang tattoos on his face and neck and arms walks up to my window and starts talking about how it was weird she was asking for money because she’s driving a BMW. That’s when he notices my hand and the Glock it’s resting on, but he keeps talking and then checks the gun again and checks me out again without ever missing a beat and then says “Oh, alright then..” and starts backing away. I say to him, “Yeah that’s weird huh?” and he walks away.
Now, maybe he really was just sharing that he too thought I was getting scammed and maybe he wasn’t. But the gang tattoos and his complete lack of fear when confronted with someone carrying a weapon gave me enough suspicion about that to have some doubt. Kelley and Emma came back a minute later and we split, leaving the woman and the tattooed guy behind. You have to understand that in the world of cops and crooks, both teams know who the other players are. Everyone else is just on the playing field. When all this happened, I was tired and I had been doing stuff completely unrelated to law enforcement for almost three weeks. My head was not really in the game and I thought to myself that I’m glad to be back and I’m glad this happened, because I have to get my work habits back and get and to work. Fortunately I responded to training by making the weapon available in uncertain and potentially dangerous circumstances, watching the hands, holding eye contact and giving the appearance that if you try to make me a victim it’s not going to go well and they walked away. Maybe they were crooks, and maybe they weren’t. This is the fallibility of being in an occupation where your success is measured by things that don’t happen.
My point is that in order to effectively navigate places or situations, you have to have regular exposure to them. Good street cops go out and get into the street and interact with it and the people that are out there. You get into situations where you can get hurt or killed and many times when that doesn’t happen it’s because of your work habits. People that operate in dangerous environments without the appropriate skill sets or worldview and don’t get hurt are lucky, period. This dynamic goes for home improvement too and that’s where I want to grow. If I want to know how to jack hammer and Sawzall and mulch leaves and help Kelley build things then I have to get into that environment and work there. If you want to get better at relationships then you have to be there and share yourself and your motivations, along with the things that make you uncomfortable so you can share your honest and real self with someone else. If you want to be a good swimmer, you have to swim. Want to be a good runner? You have to run. Want to be able to fix things in your house? Gotta learn how to do it, then go do it. So don’t be too fearful when these things come up. They’re opportunities to grow and learn new things and become more capable. I hate growth. Growth is hard and it’s often painful and it’s instinctive to avoid pain. But the end result is worth it when your skill set and your capabilities are better and deeper than they have ever been before and you can look at yourself and say, “I did that, I did the hard work. And look what I built.”

Ruminations

It’s funny that I would pick today of all days to write this. I ordinarily need to feel motivated and inspired to write. Sometimes I can get myself spun up to this state of mind and other times it just kind of comes over me and I go hit the keyboard while I’m still feeling the motivation. Today I’m tired. It’s been a long week, a long few weeks actually. We’re doing demolition and renovation on our new home, a wonderful place we found that we affectionately call “Boogie Nights” because in its original state the interior resembles Burt Reynolds home in the movie of the same name. Over the last few months we’ve demolished a few rock walls (they were facades, not the actual entire walls), a planter and Jacuzzi that were inside the house, quite a bit of ceramic tile and a lot of hardwood floor that was secured to the concrete slab with enough glue to withstand an F5 tornado. My wife Kelley has been spending a lot of time working on the place, organizing contractors, setting up appointments and oh yeah teaching our daughter home school. She’s amazing. I couldn’t do this, I’d love to be able to but I just don’t think I could.

Instead, I take runs up to the property either on a commercial flight out of the OC or by car up U.S. 395. This is between work weeks which frequently involve overtime hours, with a return trip back to the OC shortly before I have to be back at work. We keep telling ourselves that when this is done, it’s going to be awesome and it’s looking more and more like that’s going to be happening this year. This last week at work I got into a major incident which carried very significant liability and was very dangerous. I am grateful for my two immediate supervisors who shielded us from the upper reaches of the chain of command, who are almost always more concerned about public image and liability than anything else, and who are also most often the loudest second guessers. I’m sure it’s like this in any profession, because I’ve heard the same complaint countless times from others in law enforcement but also folks from other professions. It seems to be part of the human experience that those who are the least capable and least experienced often gravitate toward command. They often do this by kissing lots of asses and creating a façade of real capability that belies their gross incompetence. The line staff they worked with back in the day remember though, just as the line staff, the real warriors, also remember those who earned their place and rose to command on merit. Those people are special, because rising to command level positions based on skill and merit is a rare thing.

So my rambling up to this point leads me to some thoughts I had over the last few weeks. Observations that occurred to me for… well, some reason.

The first is 5 Percenters. This is a term that refers to the phenomenon that about 5 Percent of the work force are the people that do an excellent job in everything they do, are self-motivated, are always motivated, balance good observed arrests (stuff they found themselves) with handling their calls and taking care of their area partners, while managing their workload and not getting behind on reports while making sure those same reports are well written and bullet proof in court, and who also have stellar officer safety and a sixth sense about things, and oh yeah they don’t get in trouble or do stupid stuff. In other words, the top 5 Percent of the workforce, the “A” Players. My observation? I was thinking, wouldn’t it be nice if all of our people were like that. Then it made sense to my aging brain, that 5 Percenters are called 5 Percenters for a reason. Because they’re 5 Percent. We’re very fortunate to have probably a whole top half that’s very good right now and I feel very fortunate for that.

The second observation is about the naysayers and cowards that tend to gravitate toward positions of authority, so they can be in charge of The Warriors who they never were a part of. The “you can’t do that!” crowd. Don’t listen to them. As the SAS motto says, Who Dares Wins. Teddy Roosevelt has some remarks about this as well. Those who dare greatly, that take risks to achieve things, they understand. Identify your objective, formulate a plan, gather your materials and personnel (good capable personnel that is) and work hard, then, don’t give up. As Admiral McRaven said, “Never, ever ring the bell”. The good capable personnel part is important, see 5 Percenters above. I would rather work short and get my ass kicked with a short staffed team of A Players than have a larger team of buffoons. Any day.

The third observation is Facebook. I had Facebook for several years and I learned some things about myself from being on it. The first is that I write stuff on social media and sometimes on e-mail that I shouldn’t. I have calmed down a bit over the years but I’m the kind of person that can’t NOT shoot back at stuff that pisses me off a lot of the time. I got pissed off a lot looking at Facebook. Three of my Facebook friends dominated my news feed, one a hard core liberal and two hard core conservatives who posted about 80% political stuff with links to websites that supported their extreme opinions. I got in many, many shootouts with people and their friends that I don’t even know. So, on or about January 22^nd, 2016 (my sobriety date), I began an experiment and deactivated my account. I provided my e-mail address and said if you want to contact me this is where I am and jumped off. You know what happened over the last month? I’ve observed some symptoms of addiction. Facebook is an addiction. I found myself thinking, “Man, I should post that.” Or, “That would be a good Facebook post.” Then I found myself thinking that I could be putting stuff out there (again) that just isn’t really that important and filling cyberspace with my two cents and does anyone really care? I don’t know. So after this phase kind of passed and I hadn’t seen any extreme opinions or stuff that pissed me off for an entire month, and after my phone battery started lasting longer, I realized I’m happier. I’m less stressed out, I’m more relaxed and I decided that I will be increasing my experiment to two months and maybe three to see if after more time, the still present desire to post finally goes away. I do miss my family and friends, but I had so much political crap that the good stuff was drowned out in the cacophony of anger. Know how many people e-mailed me? Zero. I started thinking that without Facebook, it’s easier to live the sniper’s life. That is, get in, do your business and get out without anyone except your team knowing who you are or that you were ever there. I’ll have to see where this goes. Will the missing people part win and will it turn out I just needed a break and a couple of surgical friend removals, or will it turn out that I really can live without it. We shall see.

Thanks for stopping by.

We Bought a Ranch!

The Multi-ti-Purpose Room

I just noticed that someone read my Inspiration post fromyesterday and the one from 10/18/14.  It brought me to read the post again, and to my surprise, it was about the ranch we were in escrow with last year. In the post, I was talking about how afraid I was at posting anything about it because we still had the chance of losing it. Well, we did lose that ranch because another buyer jumped in and offered all cash and a shorter escrow. We were unable to sell our house so we took it off the market after 40 days and decided to celebrate the holidays there one more time. Needless to say, we have since sold our home and are in a great position to buy a ranch.

I remember feeling so sad about falling out of escrow last year, but I also remember the feeling that God had…

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A Cold Beer in a Frosty Mug

I was going through a bunch of old files I have on a flash drive tonight. These were various Power Points, videos and .pdfs that I accumulated over the last few years and one of them is called “These are my credentials”. This is a compilation of a number of quotes from military heroes, many of them quoted during the Iraq and Afghanistan conflicts and many during other times of war. I was reading through them and I thought to myself, in this time of appeasement, embracement of drug culture and slackerdom, social engineering and the elevation of every manner of perversion that has been rebranded as “normal”, it was so amazing to hear it like it is from real heroes and real warriors. These are the people we should respect and admire and I can only hope that some of their spirit is still alive in America. I’ve included some of them below… enjoy.

 

“The ultimate determinant in war is a man on the scene with a gun. This man is the final power in war. He is control, he determines who wins. There are those who would dispute this as an absolute, but it is my belief that while other means may critically influence war today, after whatever devastation and destruction may be inflicted on an enemy, if the strategist is forced to strive for final and ultimate control, he must establish, or must present as an inevitable prospect, a man on the scene with a gun. This is the Soldier.”   

Rear Admiral Wylie, U.S. Navy, World War II

 

 

“I’d rather go down the river with seven studs than with a hundred shitheads”

Colonel Charlie Beckwith, founder & CMDR of Delta Force 

 

 

“American soldiers in battle don’t fight for what some president says on T.V., they don’t fight for mom, apple pie, the American flag…they fight for one another.”    

LTC Hal Moore, CMDR 1/7 Cav, Ia Drang Valley, Vietnam 

 

 

“The Spartans do not enquire how many the enemy are, but where they are.”

Agis II, 427 B.C. 

 

 

This is the law: The purpose of fighting is to win. There is no possible victory in defense. The sword is more important than the shield and skill is more important than either. The final weapon is the brain. All else is supplemental.

John Steinbeck 

 

 

“The Soldiers of TF 2-7 IN rose to the occasion. All of the values their mothers and fathers and grandparents taught them, they learned. They stepped up to the plate. They did not just follow their leaders, they ACCOMPANIED their leaders. Sometimes, they LED the way! They said, “Sir, the enemy’s over there … don’t worry, we’ll get you there!”    

LTC Scott Rutter, Commander, TF 2-7 IN, May 15, 2003 

 

 

“I LIKE MARINES, BECAUSE BEING A MARINE IS SERIOUS BUSINESS. WE’RE NOT A SOCIAL CLUB OR A FRATERNAL ORGANIZATION AND WE DON’T PRETEND TO BE ONE. WE’RE A BROTHERHOOD OF “WARRIORS” — NOTHING MORE, NOTHING LESS, PURE AND SIMPLE. WE ARE IN THE ASS-KICKING BUSINESS, AND UNFORTUNATELY, THESE DAYS BUSINESS IS GOOD.

COLONEL JAMES. M. LOWE, COMMANDER, MARINE CORPS BASE QUANTICO, 2004 

 

 

“Somewhere a True Believer is training to kill you. He is training with minimum food or water, in austere conditions, day and night. The only thing clean on him is his weapon. He doesn’t worry about what workout to do—his rucksack weighs what it weighs, and he runs until the enemy stops chasing him. The True Believer doesn’t care ‘how hard it is’; he knows he either wins or he dies. He doesn’t go home at 1700; he is home. He knows only the ‘Cause.’ Now, who wants to quit?”

NCOIC of the Special Forces Assessment and Selection Course in a welcome speech to new SF candidates

 

 

“We have funny things that happen. I can remember standing in a land fill in southern Iraq where we began one of our attacks, and watching my guys so tired from lack of sleep….literally fall on the ground, with their gear on, on top of each other. I then watched “my boys” swat flies for each other, guard each other, share water with each other, offer food for those that did not have any chow, express their disdain for the trash heap that was our home, all the while ready to do battle and if necessary die for each other. I saw with my own eyes the actual creation of the closeness and bond that historians write about in times of war amongst fighting men.”

1LT John G. Gibson, 82nd Airborne Division, Baghdad, Iraq

 

 

“People sleep peaceably in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf”

George Orwell 

 

 

“In the final measure, nothing speaks like deeds”

General John A. Wickham, Jr.

 

 

“Understanding future warfare is the most important responsibility of those who must defend a nation from future enemies!”

Major General Perry M. Smith

 

 

“When you men get home and face an anti-war protester, look him in the eyes and shake his hand. Then, wink at his girlfriend, because she knows she’s dating a pussy.”

Attributed to General Tommy Franks

 

 

“What is a hero? My heroes are the young men who faced the issues of war and possible death, and then weighed those concerns against obligations to their country. Citizen-soldiers, who interrupted their personal and professional lives at their most formative stage, in the timeless phrase of the Confederate Memorial in Arlington National Cemetery, ‘not for fame of reward, not for place of for rank, but in simple obedience to duty, as they understood it.”

Senator James Webb (D-VA) & Former Secretary of the Navy

 

 

“I do not love the bright sword for it’s sharpness, nor the arrow for it’s swiftness, nor the warrior for his glory. I love only that which they defend”

J R Tolkien

 

 

“Nothing is as strong as the heart of a volunteer.”

LTC Jimmy Doolittle, WWII

 

 

“An unarmed man can only flee from evil, and evil is not overcome by fleeing from it.“

Jeff Cooper

 

 

“The soldier above all others prays for peace, for it is the soldier who must suffer and bear the deepest wounds and scars of war.”

General Douglas MacArthur

 

 

“Victory is reserved for those who are willing to pay its price.”

Sun Tzu 

 

 

 

Immediately after a bombing in Baghdad, June 2007, which killed at least 21 people and injured at least 66 was a shooter, maybe targeting people in the crowd. Amid all the Iraqis who are running from the gunfire was a U.S. soldier, standing tall, perhaps looking in the direction of the gunshots, not apparently looking for cover. An Iraqi boy seeks shelter behind the soldier, a member of the 82ndAirborne Division. The first picture shows it all. The kid’s face shows he is scared to death, and he’s running to the safest spot he can find: this soldier who stands between him and danger. It would be difficult to stage a picture that provides a more potent metaphor for the role played by United States in this wretched world.

 

 

“Where there is one brave man, in the thickest of the fight, there is the post of honor.”

Henry David Thoreau

 

 

“Where do we get guys like this the reporter asked? The answer is as simple as it is profound. You give them to us. You parents, you families, you brothers and sisters, grandparents, uncles and aunts, friends, you loan us these wonderful young people. They are the fruit of our country, raised by caring parents or a single parent, nurtured in love, and taught that Americans are supposed to have concern for the rights, freedoms and needs of not only our own citizens, but the citizens of the world … The credit for their goodness, and their greatness, rests with all of you back home. The mothers, the fathers, husbands, wives, all of the family members, all the friends, the teachers, the preachers, scout leaders, football coaches, volunteer youth workers of all sorts, each person who had a positive impact on the lives of these young people deserves a piece of the credit.”

Colonel Ron Smith, US Army, From, “The war in Iraq, what the media doesn’t tell you,” The Meridien Star, March 9, 2005

 

 

“If you’re going through hell, keep going.” Winston Churchill